So, I never win anything, but apparently I won something.

I certainly hope this is the beginning of a new trend! Me? Winning? YESSSSSSSSSSS

Ok, now I’m trying to remove Charlie Sheen memes from my noggin.

Moving on.

The lovely Jessica M at Pin Up Persuasion recently had her 1 year blogaversary, and decided to have a contest to celebrate. There were fabulous prizes from some very generous and groovy sponsors, and one of the sponsors was Stop Staring! Clothing.

I won a prize from the draw, and it was the Stop Staring! Billion Dollar Dress in a choice of red or black!

Billion Dollar Dress in red or black

Holy cow! Now that’s a difficult choice, not to mention a delightful thing to win! And I must admit that excited texts and Facebook posts from friends first thing this morning certainly made my horrid day much better (Note to self; do not ever have severe PMS while your baby has severe diaper rash and severe teething. End note.) so thank you Pam and Jessica for your parts in that. You both are just so delightful!

The red version is the dress that Nigella Lawson wore recently on TV here in the states on a show on ABC called The Taste , and the Daily Mail in the UK then wrote an article talking about the dress, how it sold out within hours after the airing of the show, and then the DM put it on 5 different women to see what the fuss was about with this dress. I will have some specific comments, and perhaps an entire post on my reaction to the article in the Daily Mail (not for nothing is it popularly called the Daily Fail). I would advise you not to read the sizeist, fattist, elitist, and hateful comment stream on the article, that is unless you have some specific reason your blood needs to boil.

Nigella also wore this dress in the photo shoot for the ads to promote the show, and told ABC that, no, they couldn’t airbrush out her tummy.

“Although it was very thrilling to think of being up on a billboard in LA and around the States, I was very strict and English and told them they weren’t allowed to airbrush my tummy out. Wise? Hmmm. But that tum is the truth and is come by honestly, as my granny would have said.”

I can’t imagine why they’d want to anyway, since she is absolutely stunning, but that’s frigging Hollywood for you. 

So, on to business: apparently, I’ll be doing a review of this dress in the future (oh noes!), but I have to decide which size to procure. This is super-stretchy bengaline, but I’m going for the black, and black is usually less stretchy (Note to self, part deux {another Charlie Sheen reference! Stop me, please!}; work on that post about why the same fabric has different amounts of stretch in different colors. End note.). Aside from that, I’m all over the place in the sizing chart. Due to the stretch, the site says to size down – that puts me in a 14 for the waist, 16 for the hips, and the 18 is still too small for The Rack Of Doom™ [Ok, I’m typing that so much lately that I might have to change my blog name to The Rack Of Doom™. It has a nice ring to it. Thoughts?]. I have serious concerns about wedging my top-full 47″ bust into a dress which measures 44″, despite the existence of ease and stretch. Going for the 18 would mean an absolute requirement of this dress going to the tailor to take in the waist and possibly the hips and legs. The 16 is a big possibility that it would still need tailoring in the same spots. The 14 would be fine on the waist, likely too tight on the hips, and probably way too small on the bust. I’ve asked for help picking a size on the Stop Staring! Facebook page, so we shall see what answers I get.

UPDATE: Stop Staring! responded on my Facebook post with this response:

“Most customers end up having to exchange this dress because the size they ordered is too small. Because the fabric has a lot of stretch, it can tend to fit tighter than expected (versus hanging loosely)…almost like an elastic band. It will stretch to fit but also shrink back down when take it off, if that makes any sense.. I would suggest that you order a size 18 since it should fit your bust and your hip measurements and just have the waist taken in.”

I’d love it if anyone who has this dress would give me fit feedback on this post on my Facebook page as well.

“But, Jenna! Why not get the red?” I hear all of you screaming at me.

My answer will astound you.

Horrify you.

Make you sneer with disdain or recoil in shock.

I discovered while I was dressing for my Papa’s memorial service about a month ago that I do not own a black dress. Not a frumpy one, not an LBD, not too small or too large, nada. This dress shall cure my closet of such an atrocity.

I guess you might want to stay tuned?