You may have noticed I’ve been a bit quiet here lately. I’ve taken some time to decide what to do with this blog and how best to proceed with it.
I’m writing this ongoing work for curvy women who have endured various forms of attention and abuse based on their figures, have difficulty locating clothing like I do, or have difficulty sourcing bras that fit. I am writing this for those attempting understand what it’s like to be one of us. I am writing this for clothing companies who need to know what to make to serve this portion of the population. I am writing this for those who want to grow, discuss, and learn.
There’s a contingent of ‘readers’ who are not in my intended audience. They come here and post on other sites about me (along with thousands of other women). They come here, apparently, for the photos. That’s cool, and it happens. Not fussed about that. Whatever floats your boat. But I do see those sites, and I do see what is said.
When a recent poster who shared my photos declared my blog ‘not worth reading‘, I felt a mixture of both rage and pride: Rage that a woman is still not thought of as a whole person, but is reduced to an image from which all that is truly interesting about her is subtracted; Pride that I, with my outspokenness, had induced this response, and that someone is disturbed enough by my words that they want desperately for me to shut up.
That particular thread, and others like it, are intriguing from a sociological perspective and will definitely be discussed in my book. This happens to women often, and I’d like to analyze it here as well.
You know what goes into analysis posts? Words. Not photos. Yep! More stuff that’s not worth reading! Huzzah!
This still begs the question of why readers like that come here at all, which has already been answered: photographs which they find interesting for whatever reason. This brings me to my response: No more photos of my person, at least not ones which are not heavily edited. Yay for severe cropping and blurring of cleavage! Full skirts all the way! Lingerie which is photographed flat! The more revealing dresses treated the same! Reviews will be fewer as well! BONUS! Most of the reviews I had on deck will not be posted and instead different content will be generated!
In short, I look forward to writing many more posts that are not worth reading. I may wax poetic about the corset I saw this weekend in TARDIS and Circular Gallifreyan fabric, go on a feminist rant, call out companies for unethical practices, epically nerd about Star Trek vs. Star Wars vs. Battlestar Galactica, talk about how men are left out of the body positivity movement, or discuss why fat loss is not for everyone. If that’s the sort of thing you like, please feel free to stay.
For this post only, I am allowing comments so that the ladies who read me may make their opinions on this subject known. I may, at my discretion, disable comments again if things get ugly.
Of Epic Proportions 
Don’t ever change because of the despicable internet trolls that only exist to put down others due to their own insecurities.
Thank you, Jessica! You’ve always been so supportive, and I appreciate that.
I am not changing myself, but rather what I show on this blog. I am still me, and I still kick ass. Basically, I am distilling content to ONLY the kick-ass portion of me, without all the packaging, and see how that works.
I was hoping to make this blog a bit of a temptation for clothing companies, and to use it as a pass to blogging events in order to generate more content. That said, I am nowhere near where companies want me to be in order to want to work with me, and I do not live anywhere close to blogging events. That begs the question of ‘why should I cater to that if I am not eligible for those benefits?’ I felt like I had to stuff myself into a box anyway, and quell my geekery in order to be acceptable.
What will happen is that this blog will be much more me. Perhaps I shall be invited to blog events eventually, or clothing companies will want me to review items, but I’d rather that happen when they see my blog as it is on my terms, and not what I pretend to be for their benefit.
I don’t see this as changing who I am, rather hiding who I am even less. Frankly, the people who know me and like me don’t give a damn what I’m wearing when I show up to their houses to play games, or when we go to brunch. My husband and son don’t care if I’m in full make-up and PUG when I’m cooking dinner, conversing, or reading with them. I’ve decided to trust my blog readers, and trust that they will like who I am, and not who I was pretending to be – and I was pretending to be someone who is nice and quiet and toes the line.
No more pretense! Welcome to the Jenna who doesn’t STFU. 😉
I have the same delimma. I admire your courage. Please don’t stop posting.
Thank you, and it’s a crap dilemma isn’t it?
I don’t plan on stopping posts, and I am looking at the best way to do helpful reviews without making this place a magnet for trouble. I just hope you’ll have patience with me, and continue trusting me – I want to do the best job possible!
I have been following your blog for a while, and whether you choose to use less pictures or not, I will indeed continue doing so because I think you are doing a valuable job for all of us out there who are/have been dealing with the exact issues you mention here. The things you write in this post sound so familiar to me, and I can only hope you do continue your blog.
Thank you! I feel it is important to be transparent about these difficulties, mainly because no one knows they’re committing insulting behavior if they aren’t told they are. The same thread I referred to in this post said that my blog was full of ‘whining Tumblr feminism’ which I find hilarious. There has been exactly one post other than this one addressing this issue, and apparently no one from that forum is using their critical thinking skills while reading this blog, otherwise they wouldn’t call it such.
I do plan to continue, and am working out how to deal with this issue going forward.
Haters gonna hate! Your blog is awesome and it’s great for ladies like me with lots of extra, er, everything to have a place to engage in stuff that affects us!
Thank you! To be clear, they’re not exactly haters, rather entitled folk who think I just ought to shut up and be obviously boobied in a clear, high resolution photograph for free and not require them to actually think about the sexism in which they are engaged.
I look forward to the day when I feel that I can have comments open on every post, and that all of you will be able to communicate your issues more clearly without fear of those who are lurking. Here’s hoping that’s soon. ❤
This weird sense of entitlement people seem to think they have over other people’s breasts is bizarre, isn’t it? It’s like they would prefer one to just be breasts with no attached thoughts, feelings or opinions. It’s so in built in society that there is genuine disbelief and outrage if you say that you’d rather not engage with it.
And that is precisely why we must call attention to it. I don’t mind someone looking or loving/hating/being bored by what they see; I mind that they think I don’t get to have an opinion about that.
When I was 17, I got job in Atlanta with a family owned furniture distributor. One day, the VP ask3d me to go tonkunch.nni thought nothing of it, he was my dada agenor older. On thenway back, he attemoted to kiss me, this totally freaked me out, TO ME, HE WAS OLD. Later, he called me at my extension and asked if I told anyone, people were talking, this freak3d me out more and I left, went home. The next day, I went to talk to a lawyer, his response. “Well you ARE well endowed” and that 2as the end of that. It was, after all, my fault the man acted like a pig.
Oh for pete’s sake…
That sounds like some Everyday Sexism to me. You should submit that to their blog.
I love your blog and i think it is definitely worth reading, those people obviously have nothing better to do than swan around putting people down because they are unhappy with their own lives!
I must admit though that what originally drew me in were your beautiful photos of vintage style clothing and your enviable figure (it being everything a woman should be and everything i wish mine was sometimes!).
Although i am guessing i don’t fit your ‘intended audience’ i enjoy reading your posts (geekdom bits included!) and seeing your perspective and arguments on certain subjects.
I think it is sad that you are changing the way you post on here because of some silly people but i also admire what you are doing, you are right, people should be here because they are interested, not because they want to gawp and bitch about people!
Thank you so much! You are absolutely my intended audience! You fall under ‘learn, engage, and support’, which is ever so important.
I’m sorry to take what originally brought you here. 😦 There may one day be photos again. If I ever do a pro shoot, they’ll be out there in the interwebs universe anyhow, so no point in hiding them from here. Meanwhile, I’m working on the best way to photograph myself and clothing without being titillating – believe me, that’s difficult, because I had NO IDEA what was considered titillating. Apparently, it doesn’t take much. O_O
I look forward to entertaining you with more posts, and never fear, I’ll find a way around all this.
It’s sad that people come to gawp, but it’s sadder that society deems my type of body the kind that you should not publicly like, and these men are so happy to find an anonymous, non-judgemental outlet for what they like that they become a bit boorish and sexist, perhaps without realizing it. I still have to defend myself against that, though, and that means you get treated to me being less polite and quiet. LOUD JENNA FOR YOU! 😉
Reposting what I said in the thread you’re referring to;
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I can’t help but facepalm at the way she automatically assumes I deem her blog ‘not worth reading’ because she’s a woman, and that she is ‘not thought of as a whole person, but is reduced to an image from which all that is truly interesting about her is subtracted’.
Jenna, if you’re reading this, you are overthinking way too much.
When I said ‘not worth reading’, it had nothing to do with your gender, and everything to do with the fact that I highly, HIGHLY doubt a board full of men cares to read about the finer points specific subset of women’s clothing. ‘Not worth reading’ wasn’t an attack on you, your content, or you gender. It was a simple statement that I feel is accurate given the nature of this board and the people likely to be browsing it. Why have you taken it as a dismissal of you and women in general? It is no such thing. What trauma and insecurity lead you to such a wildly inaccurate conclusion?
As much as it might simplify your worldview to think that I’m only interested in women for their appearance, I’m not. If you were blogging about anything I imagine anyone on this board cares about, then your blog would be worth reading FOR THE USERS OF THIS BOARD. As it stands, it’s not worth -reading- simply cause it has no -written- content that is relevant to US. That’s not to say your blog isn’t interesting – to a full-figured woman I’m sure it’s very interesting, but I am not a full-figured woman, nor is the typical user of this board.
Would you find a blog about mens’ fashion worth reading? No? Then you should understand why I called your blog ‘not worth reading’ on a board populated mostly by men.
For what its worth, if you’re going to continue to blog about social perspectives like this, you *will* be worth reading for me. We’ll probably disagree on many things, but I’ll still deem it a worthwhile read.
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That’s it. I shared your publically available pictures with people, and told them that the written content on your site would not appeal to them, because I assume they’re not women looking for curve-compatible clothing. My assumption is correct, yes?
I’m not putting you down, belittling you, devaluing your opinion because you’re a woman, or anything like that. I shared your pictures, which you yourself said you don’t care about.
I didn’t watermark them, I didn’t subject you to my comments (although apparently you went to the site and looked at them of your own volition), I shared them as they were, and linked to your blog.
If you don’t care about my sharing the images, what are you angry about? I haven’t done anything else.
Hi That Guy! I’m having a pretty busy day today, so can’t respond fully right now, but I wanted to go ahead and approve your comment, thank you for commenting, and let you know I’m definitely coming back to chat on this. I’m actually very glad you replied, and I look forward to discussion on this with you – back soon!
Also, if you change your mind and decide you do care about your images being shared, I will delete them if I am able. You can also contact bbwdmca@gmail.com and request their removal, and they will add you to the the Do Not Post list: http://bbw-chan.net/news.php?p=rules
I am so sorry that all that has transpired. I am steeling myself against the inevitable similar stuff that is going to come my way as I expand my blog into more bra reviews and such, and I definitely feel a sense of trepidation. While I am sad that I won’t be able to see your fabulous pictures, I totally get why you are making the choice you are and will happily continue reading and supporting.